Be the Man You Needed at Their Age, My Nigga.

When I think about fatherhood, I don’t just think about being a provider. I think about the gaps.
The moments I wish somebody would have spoken up for me, protected me, showed me a better way.

That’s what this line means to me: Be the man you needed at their age.

It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being present. It’s about looking back at your younger self, the moments when you felt lost, scared, or overlooked, and deciding you won’t let your kids feel that way if you can help it.

Being that man might mean putting your pride aside and apologizing when you get it wrong.
It might mean showing affection even if nobody showed it to you.
It might mean teaching patience, because you didn’t get much of it growing up.
It might even mean going to therapy yourself so your kids don’t inherit pain that was never theirs.

Kids don’t just learn from what we say — they learn from what we model. If we want them to be brave, we have to show them what courage looks like. If we want them to be kind, we have to show them kindness. If we want them to love themselves, we have to love ourselves out loud.

The man I needed at twelve? He was consistent. He was safe. He was honest.
The man I needed at sixteen? He told me the truth about the world, about women, about money — but also about love, about grace, about failure not being the end.
The man I needed at twenty? He reminded me that I was more than my mistakes.

That’s the man I try to be now.
And every time I show up that way, it feels like I’m healing the younger me too.

Fatherhood isn’t just about shaping their future — it’s about redeeming the past.
Be the man you needed at their age, my nigga.
Because somebody’s watching you, even when you think they aren’t.

- E.N.D.