Write It Down: Defining Your Values, My Nigga.

Most of us think we know what we stand for — until life puts pressure on us. Then we find out which values were real and which were just talk.

Defining your values isn’t about being perfect or moral in some textbook way. It’s about naming the things that matter so much you’re willing to lose sleep, lose clout, even lose people before you lose them.

When I first started therapy, I realized I’d been living by default — reacting instead of choosing. I had walls up, habits on autopilot, and unspoken pain driving the ship. Sitting in those sessions made me face a hard truth: I didn’t actually know what I stood on.

So I wrote them down.

Not a Pinterest list. Not a fancy mantra. Just the raw, honest things that mattered most — loyalty, creativity, integrity, freedom, community, joy. And once they were on paper, I could see how much of my life didn’t match them.

That’s the thing about values: once you name them, they become a mirror. They make it harder to lie to yourself. They force you to ask: Am I living this, or just saying it sounds good?

How to Start

1. Grab a pen and write down five things that matter most to you — things you’d protect even if nobody clapped for it.

2. Ask yourself: what’s one choice I can make this week that lines up with this list?

3. Repeat. Adjust. Refine as you grow.

You don’t need to overthink it. You just need to start.

Because when you know your values, you move different. You date different. You work different. You build different. And even when life hits hard, you can still stand on something solid.

Write them down. Live them loud. Build from there, my nigga.
— E.N.D.